Autobiography

A little baby is born into this world,

Unto a loving mother and father,

Who’s love is taught to the son,

As their fighting brings them to an end. 

Regardless, the boy is still loved,

He craves the love of others,

His future seems bright,

His talents will make him fly like a kite.

He has friends with whom he plays,

Who listen to what he says,

It’s cruel how things can change,

Life soon fills this boy with rage.

The friends abandon the boy,

A conglomerate formed to suffocate his joy,

He plays no more, he’s now the toy,

And his innocence they begin to destroy.

Like plague-ridden crows they pick away,

At the walking corpse they’ve betrayed,

Preventing him from becoming,

What he wants to be, instead he’s running.

Still he struggles on with his days,

With his heart the girl he loves plays,

His head is kicked, his skin is torn,

Oh how often he wished he hadn’t been born.

Time moves on and things look up,

He finds his love and feelings erupt,

He finds new friends and life goes well,

What can go wrong? Only time will tell.

There’s perfection in her eyes,

But soon there’s evil in his lies,

What was pure then turned black,

As a dark angel pulls him from the track.

Dirty lust from the Devil’s ways,

Scenes taken from Shakespeare’s plays,

This wicked demon took his soul,

And left him to burn himself in a hole.

Once more he moved along,

Head held high and going strong,

He couldn’t stay there and that is when,

He moved from home to start again.

He found new fun and ways to live,

Emptied his love out through a sieve,

Made of different girls and different glasses,

Through a constant desire to be known amongst the masses.

Crazy hair and fancy clothes,

Trying to be someone that no one loathes,

He came here to try and find himself,

Instead he ripped out his sanity and placed it on a shelf. 

Obsession, passion, realisation of depression,

He thought by now he'd have learned his lesson.

He tries to force himself to stay alone,

But through dark caves of love his body roams.

He lives two lives in just one vessel,

Between two mindsets he constantly wrestles,

Be alone and miserable but feel free,

Or feel safe, bored and trapped, it’s hard, you see?

So that little boy becomes but a flickered light,

Inside my body as I roam the night,

Oh, I’ve let you down, I let you drown,

I hope one day you will be found.

Why I Am The Way I Am

You wonder why I’m the way I am, why my ego seems so damn big, 

Do you see me as damned or is that opinion just manned by me?

Self destruction at the cost of love I’ve felt, struggle to feel, 

I fell from above, now before the Devil I kneel,

You think I walk head high ‘cause perhaps I feel like some sort of messiah, 

You think I enjoy being a fucking cheat and a liar?

When I’ve walked through this life; a constant fire, 

And enraged it with alcohol to make me feel higher.

I’ve been beaten and torn, 

My loving heart filling with scorn,

Yet compassion was still there,

As a passion to prove everyone wrong grew in me like a tear.

I stood up after every kick to the head,

Tried to stay good when all I saw was red,

I look at a picture of me when I was a younger kid,

And hatred grows at how they all wanted rid,

Of someone so innocent and peace seeing,

Of a little pacifist who kept fleeing.

Abandoned by those who wanted to fit in,

Left me like the waste of someone’s littering,

And it’s hard to recover when there’s no one there,

To tell you it’ll be okay and it’s not fair,

‘Cause when people treat you like this from a young age,

How can you know how you deserved to be treated at that stage?

So you want me to settle down,

Live life with a constant frown?

All I need is a little respect,

To stop this mind from getting wrecked.

So you want me to get a grip?

To grow up now, to grow up quick?

I’m sorry that I want the world,

But I need to take it, that I’ve learned.

So now in hindsight I realise,

The bastards deserved to bleed from their eyes,

And I want to be treated like a king,

Because I need to recover from the sting.

Give me your attention, and give it now,

Get to your knees and fucking bow,

I will prove to you that I can win here,

On this world that’s so full of fear,

You can knock me down, you already have,

But I won’t drown, I’ll wear this crown that I have found in the hate, in the ground,

I’ll dig it out, and I’ll scream out loud, and take a bow to my loving crowd,

Because I believe I should be allowed to make someone proud.

So get back to your fucking nest,

And watch me as I become the best.

So you want me to settle down,

Live life with a constant frown?

All I need is a little respect,

To stop this mind from getting wrecked.

So you want me to get a grip?

To grow up now, to grow up quick?

I’m sorry that I want the world,

But I need to take it, that I’ve learned.

Heart Is Where The Home Is

It’s like i’m in love with a robot, or someone stuck in Groundhog Day. 

There’s no way I couldn’t fall for you, but you don’t believe what I say? 

You’re stinging me like a sting ray, 

Ignoring me like I’m a pin in some hay, 

Until you take a sip through your lips and move your hips and then your bullshit rips through my soul, 

Acting plain and black as coal, is this going to be forever my role? 

Love blinding me like I’m a mole, putting me down like I’m a leg-broken foal, 

You’re driving me crazy, like I’m fucking S.O.A.D, 

You try and set me free and I make myself blind to see how it just later hurts me, 

Because when your arms are around me, I don’t want to see the pain you’re dealing, 

Stopping my heart from healing, oh look it’s fucking bleeding, 

Stopping the wounds from sealing, and even though I try reading what you mean,

When it seems like you’re keen, observing what I’ve seen, 

It’s just obscene and pretty fucking mean how wrong I’ve been. 

Lean on me again and let me hold my breath and count to ten, 

Because when your eyes are in mine it’s like I’ve reached Zen, 

You’re Barbie and I’m Ken, we’d probably get a ten from Len but then you go to bed and wake up and then,

It all changes, I’m shooting in different ranges, become a baby rocking in a manger, 

Become pointless and broken, tears making me soaking, the pain making me woken, 

But would I stop you next time? No, because I pretend it’s all fine, 

I couldn’t find someone I want more to be mine, I ain’t lyin’, I’ve stopped cryin’, 

But I’ll stop trying because I can’t keep prying, 

So I’ll just keep sighing and dying leaving a loud ring in my stinging head, 

Maybe I’ll be better off dead.

I Get Why

I’m stuck in a loop, 

‘Cause when we sit in the same room, 

Darkness looms, 

Sadness pauses but it will resume, 

In fact I get so happy and warm, 

I feel stillness and calm, 

But you have me in the palm of your hand, 

While my head’s in the sand, 

Trying to pretend and forget but it still understands, 

My heart has its demands, 

Asking me to explore different lands, 

Different yet so familiar, 

It brings me fear, 

Searing pain and a tear falls from my left eye, 

I left myself to die tonight,

And I’m starting to know why. 

A well’s gone dry, 

Slowly losing my fight, 

The wind is slowing and down falls the kite, 

And in hindsight it seems so obvious and right, 

But you don’t want me; and that’s fine, 

Someone so perfect can’t be mine,

So just give me time,

For me to drink wine and sigh with a cigarette, 

Self-pity becomes my pet, 

And yet despite it maybe being wrong, 

My heart is set, 

And I kind of get why, 

I’m not gonna lie. 

Have you seen yourself? 

You’re not good for my health, 

My heart jumps crazy, 

Mind goes hazy and my body turns lazy,

And almost numb with excitement, 

Words of entertainment and eyes radiating enlightenment.

I sometimes wish things were different,

But good lookin’, you were God-sent,

When you leave even my heart is absent,

And the Sun begins its descent,

Clouds block the moon and the stars,

Calm breeze ruined by loud cars,

Then you return and I re-awaken,

I don’t want my happiness to leave again,

Yet the more I’m with you the harder it gets,

The hurt slowly sets even when we forget,

I get why you think it’s wrong but it’s not

But fuck it, let it hurt and let me rot,

Because what I have is what I’ve got,

And what I’ve got is beautiful.

Girl, Girl, Girl.

I've had a lot of troubles with girls in my life. A lot. I've hurt people but I've been hurt too. So this one sounds quite harsh and violent but they're pretty justified. Three verses about three different people. (Because I couldn't be bothered to write 754 verses about every girl). First one is about a psycho who had a lot of issues. Second is about some girl I barely know from back home who said some harsh shit about me, and the third is someone I was obsessed with for a few months. 

So you think it’s all a fucking game?

Bitch, you think you can get away without shame?

You were a little whore and it’s me you blame?

At least I was honest, there we aren’t the same.

Put your hand on my thigh,

And blame it on being high when my girlfriend gives a sigh, 

And the way that you lie is fucking sick, 

What, did you trip on my dick? 

This isn’t a horror flick, 

But you’re insane how your brain ticks, 

It isn’t sane to shout rape then run behind my back wearing a cape, 

Hiding behind drapes spreading this shit about me, 

Bitch just let me be, 

Accept you need to be drowned at sea,
You can’t touch me now you see?
I knew you wouldn’t come for free,
But you hung me leaving me to bleed, 

It was just my lust I needed to feed, 

Just wanted to free my seed,
To feed my ego you silly hoe, 

Now fucking go, 

Get out my sight before I blow your brains into the sky, 

Drag it round like a broken kite, 

Your eyes weren’t closed that night.

So you think it’s all a fucking game?

Bitch, you think you can get away without shame?

You were a little whore and it’s me you blame?

At least I was honest, there we aren’t the same.

Oh hey there, cunt number two, 

How do you remember me I barely fucking know you, 

Yet you’ve got something against me too, 

Bet you want your mouth and my dick to be glued; 

Now I’m gonna settle this feud. 

Little girl, you crossed my path, so daring,
I’ll unleash my wrath and stop fucking caring, 

I’m in Bath and I can still hear you blaring, 

Your silly little bullshit, 

You think you’re so fit, right? 

Bitch, sit, go lick your clit, or something, 

I’m too busy being too good for you, 

Got better things to do, 

Hotter girls to screw,
And no doubt you’ve got dogs balls to chew, 

Put your fingers down your throat and spew. 

The funny thing is, no one likes you in your crew, 

So jealous and immature, 

Your hypocrisy smells like manure, 

And there ain’t a cure for girls like you babe, 

Can’t get the guitarist from the stage, 

So you go for the drummer, 

Struggling you’re gonna get a shit wage, 

Locked with your boyfriend in a cold cage. 

So you think it’s all a fucking game?

Bitch, you think you can get away without shame?

Was it my face you saw when you first came?

Your jealousy is fucking lame. 

This one’s a little bit harder to write, 

This girl brought me into the light, 

But only briefly, she killed my fight,
Nothing seemed bright, 

I saw her face every night. 

But that bint got issues, 

New shoes to fill the holes when penis can’t, 

Don’t need tissues for tears,
She’s drier than Thatcher’s rear,
Living her life in fear of attachment or some shit, 

But it don’t mean you can treat me like footballer’s spit, 

My life is my game not your skit, 

Not your city to blitz, 

Bitch, you tore me to bits, 

But everyone knew including even you,

That I could taste better brew, 

Fill better shoes than I could with you. 

Look what you helped to build though, 

Someone so skilled yet his own foe, 

Someone aiming high yet falling low, 

And I kept trying to let go, 

But I kept seeing you at my shows, 

Kept seeing you at my lowest, 

You crawled into my brain to infest, yeah you guessed; 

Look, I tried my best, but I was in love,
You dropped me from above and now I’m going to shove you out of my mind, 

Put you behind, say goodbye. 

Out Of Reach

So this one is fairly self explanatory. I've always wanted fame, it's just the way I am. But in this one I tried to allow a lot of ego out, and was inspired a lot by Eminem for this one, hence a lot of name-dropping and stuff, which I've never done before. It's also one of the longest I've written; 768 words.

This life of mine is just a game, and I’ma use it to obtain fame, 

‘Cause I don’t wanna be the same, the same feels so lame, 

And this mind frame of mine just doesn’t feel fine, 

I want shrines of me, lights on me, 

Fights about me, so just give me the key,

And I’ll leave this normal life ‘cause it’s obscene, 

I’m not keen to live without a limelight, 

Without reaching heights with a mind this bright, 

Fly me like a kite and watch me get on Brand’s level, 

Walking on beaches of sand and money, 

No more feeling bland but feeling grand,

People running my errands, having my own little Stans, 

Hordes of fans, spitting at those who doubted me, 

Working with Eminem to say ‘fuck them’,

Become a national gem, walking through halls of fame, 

In this little game of mine without shame. 

It’s hard sat within four walls, waiting on phone calls, 

Feeling my heart fall not feeling so tall, 

Not going to fancy balls with princesses sucking my balls, 

Not having fast cars picking me up taking me to the best bars,

With fucking rockstars like that little Lars, 

Not writing my signature or sitting on expensive furniture, 

I want to see into the future and see if my efforts are futile, 

And if they are then that’s just brutal, 

Everything would seem so pointless, I’d turn more reckless,

Wear a noose like a fucking necklace, ‘cause I feel I’m a template, 

Like an empty slate, waiting to be filled by fame,

I hope it’s not too late, ‘cause at this rate,

The more I wait the more I hate this life of mine, n’, 

Rhymin’ about this feelin’ that’s stealin’ my compassion, 

N’, turning it to aggression and self-obsession, 

Should I learn my lesson? Or keep missin, keep skippin’ that class, 

Live life fast until someone casts the spell of fame on me? 

Shame on me? Don’t point the blame at me.

Do I keep writing music? 

Will it make me lose it, make me confused? 

It, was what I always wanted, to play guitar to millions, 

Be a shred star to the hellions, 

Writing bitching riffs making people itching to dance in kitchens, 

In stadiums, playing the fucking London Palladium with my superstardom, 

To kill the boredom,

Taking MDMA at the MTV VMAs, 

I’ve got Cobain’s DNA, I’ll flip off that Kanye, 

Shout a Hetfield ‘Yeah’, make people go insane, 

Write songs like Dave Mustaine, 

Amaze audiences like David Blaine, 

Shake hands with Michael Caine ‘cause I’ll blow the bloody doors off, 

People will be like moths to my light, 

I’ll be known amongst chavs and goths, EVH and David Lee Roth, 

The shitting prime minister and even the Queen, 

I’ll have sex like Charlie Sheen, 

Never become a ‘has-been’, 

This was my dream since before I was a teen. 

Do I keep making people laugh? 

Will that quench my wrath, the more I stand up in Bath, 

Will the crowd become more than just the staff? Am I even funny? 

It started off so warm and sunny, had a good feeling in my tummy, 

Like I swallowed something yummy without making nostalgia, 

Will I say: “I told ya”?

I could nurture this act to become massive, that was my objective, 

But the insults got so repetitive, constant and aggressive, 

Kids behind keyboards cuddling their mummy’s cunts, 

Cumming in their Carlsberg cans counting kills on crappy console games, 

Clutching their controllers, drinking Coronas on their own, 

Crafting insults they couldn’t say to my face,

If this was a race to being more than just little boys, 

I’d be the hare and they'd be a dead tortoise. 

Listen to my voice, little boys, my voice is talking not yours, little boys, 

I’m important, you’re worthless, little boys, 

Now go play with your toys little boys, 

“Ahoy! Land ahead, now jump and drown, little boys”.

I want everything but it’s out of reach, 

I’m out at sea but I can’t see the beach,

What I feel I can’t teach, it’s just how my head ticks,

I shit bricks out of fear I won’t get kicks anymore,

Stuck in a ditch, such a whiny little bitch, 

Got loads but I've not got what, where, which I want,

It daunts me, haunts me, sometimes fucking taunts me,

It wraps round my head like a chain that won’t let me free,

And what if I reach what’s so out of reach and I’m not happy with that?

I want everything but it’s out of reach, 

I’m out at sea but I can’t see the beach.

Introduction

Hello there,

I'm Adam Walton, or 'Adam Robert Kurt Walton'. I'm a musician, a comedian, and like all humans, I have problems. Therefore, a lot of the time, I write poems or raps (I can't really rap but I can imagine them being rapped) to get things out. I like the idea that other's can read them too but I don't want to annoy everyone on Facebook with them so I'm putting them here.

Thanks for reading.

ARK