Why I Am The Way I Am

You wonder why I’m the way I am, why my ego seems so damn big, 

Do you see me as damned or is that opinion just manned by me?

Self destruction at the cost of love I’ve felt, struggle to feel, 

I fell from above, now before the Devil I kneel,

You think I walk head high ‘cause perhaps I feel like some sort of messiah, 

You think I enjoy being a fucking cheat and a liar?

When I’ve walked through this life; a constant fire, 

And enraged it with alcohol to make me feel higher.

I’ve been beaten and torn, 

My loving heart filling with scorn,

Yet compassion was still there,

As a passion to prove everyone wrong grew in me like a tear.

I stood up after every kick to the head,

Tried to stay good when all I saw was red,

I look at a picture of me when I was a younger kid,

And hatred grows at how they all wanted rid,

Of someone so innocent and peace seeing,

Of a little pacifist who kept fleeing.

Abandoned by those who wanted to fit in,

Left me like the waste of someone’s littering,

And it’s hard to recover when there’s no one there,

To tell you it’ll be okay and it’s not fair,

‘Cause when people treat you like this from a young age,

How can you know how you deserved to be treated at that stage?

So you want me to settle down,

Live life with a constant frown?

All I need is a little respect,

To stop this mind from getting wrecked.

So you want me to get a grip?

To grow up now, to grow up quick?

I’m sorry that I want the world,

But I need to take it, that I’ve learned.

So now in hindsight I realise,

The bastards deserved to bleed from their eyes,

And I want to be treated like a king,

Because I need to recover from the sting.

Give me your attention, and give it now,

Get to your knees and fucking bow,

I will prove to you that I can win here,

On this world that’s so full of fear,

You can knock me down, you already have,

But I won’t drown, I’ll wear this crown that I have found in the hate, in the ground,

I’ll dig it out, and I’ll scream out loud, and take a bow to my loving crowd,

Because I believe I should be allowed to make someone proud.

So get back to your fucking nest,

And watch me as I become the best.

So you want me to settle down,

Live life with a constant frown?

All I need is a little respect,

To stop this mind from getting wrecked.

So you want me to get a grip?

To grow up now, to grow up quick?

I’m sorry that I want the world,

But I need to take it, that I’ve learned.