I Get Why

I’m stuck in a loop, 

‘Cause when we sit in the same room, 

Darkness looms, 

Sadness pauses but it will resume, 

In fact I get so happy and warm, 

I feel stillness and calm, 

But you have me in the palm of your hand, 

While my head’s in the sand, 

Trying to pretend and forget but it still understands, 

My heart has its demands, 

Asking me to explore different lands, 

Different yet so familiar, 

It brings me fear, 

Searing pain and a tear falls from my left eye, 

I left myself to die tonight,

And I’m starting to know why. 

A well’s gone dry, 

Slowly losing my fight, 

The wind is slowing and down falls the kite, 

And in hindsight it seems so obvious and right, 

But you don’t want me; and that’s fine, 

Someone so perfect can’t be mine,

So just give me time,

For me to drink wine and sigh with a cigarette, 

Self-pity becomes my pet, 

And yet despite it maybe being wrong, 

My heart is set, 

And I kind of get why, 

I’m not gonna lie. 

Have you seen yourself? 

You’re not good for my health, 

My heart jumps crazy, 

Mind goes hazy and my body turns lazy,

And almost numb with excitement, 

Words of entertainment and eyes radiating enlightenment.

I sometimes wish things were different,

But good lookin’, you were God-sent,

When you leave even my heart is absent,

And the Sun begins its descent,

Clouds block the moon and the stars,

Calm breeze ruined by loud cars,

Then you return and I re-awaken,

I don’t want my happiness to leave again,

Yet the more I’m with you the harder it gets,

The hurt slowly sets even when we forget,

I get why you think it’s wrong but it’s not

But fuck it, let it hurt and let me rot,

Because what I have is what I’ve got,

And what I’ve got is beautiful.